satisfying, off the cuff, mostly unedited, caffeine-fueled rant

October 19, 2015 § 1 Comment

Chad K said:

“You oppose equal opportunity, so you’re the one being racist here. Stupid or ignorant, but either way you’re incorrect. You support the party of the KKK, the party of slavery, and now the party who fights against people based on skin color and demean/discriminate against them. Democrats have spent us into the ground, Obama and a $20 trillion national debt. Now they want to take us to $40 trillion. Republicans should thank Obama for being such a fuck-up and tanking the democratic party, as to guarantee a republican victory in 2016. Republicans will have full control of all 3 branches of government xD democrat tears.”

I said:

“You oppose equal opportunity, so you’re the one being racist here.”

What is this, high school debate class?

” You support the party of the KKK,”

Actually you do.  I’ve already shown you that and I don’t see a convincing counter argument.  What was your rebuttal?  “You’re stupid?”

It’s pretty easy to show how your nationalist, work-or-starve medieval bullshit is identical to the politics of the segment of society out of which the Klan grew.  You already lost that one, sorry.

“Democrats have spent us into the ground, Obama and a $20 trillion national debt.”

Yeah?  What did he spend it on.  Oh look:

Y’know the funny part?  The very same defense contractors and related industries who lobby the government for military spending are the very same bankrolling “small government” obsessed think tanks, politicians, policy research, and advocacy which is the origin of the stupid, outright factually incorrect and completely indefensible shit you’re spouting here.  See, when they say “small government” and “free trade” what it means is “free shit for me” while you get to pay for it. It’s massive government so long as they benefit and you’re footing the bill.  Reagan ramped up military spending to WW II levels in peacetime and it went right into defense contractors pockets. Defense contractors, y’know, like General Electric, Reagan’s former employer.

It’s the very same people who cynically and deliberately confuse poorly educated rubes like yourself so that you sound like a goddamn idiot.  Roger Ailes who runs Fox News for Rupert Murdoch was a republican party operative for decades.  That makes Fox a coordinated mouth piece for the Republican Party and that is where this garbage about how Lincoln freed the slaves because he was a paragon of small government right wing states’ rights virtue comes from.  It’s laughably stupid, to the point where educated right wingers are embarrassed by it.

I mean, it’s like you’re trying to argue that WW II never happened or that the American Civil War happened in the 18th century.  That’s how fucking dumb it is.  You’re actually arguing with me about stuff that isn’t in question by anyone.  Why don’t you argue that Hitler sported a mohawk?  It would be just as stupid and indefensible.  No historian agrees with what you’ve said here, not right wing or left wing, unless it’s some hack like David “I went to Oral Roberts University I’m a historian” Barton, which no historian, not right wing or left wing, takes seriously.  Can you not tell the fucking difference?  I mean, look at him.  No really, take a good hard look:


This is literally where the “demarkats r da partee of slav holderz durrrrr god bless nascar” shit comes from, you fucking goof.

So let’s talk about military spending, since that’s where all your magical, mystical, precious, sacred tax dollars go. What does that military spending look like in global perspective?


You’re so worried about the goddamn national debt, even though you should be worried about private consumer debt, but whatever. Since you’re so worried it, even though it doesn’t even fucking matter since the U.S. borrows in its own currency anyway, look at the motherfucking graph.

That’s you paying taxes which go into the coffers of corporations which profit directly or indirectly from war, either from blowing a city up, like Lockheed does, or rebuilding it like Bechtel does, or maybe manufacturing and selling the weapons to U.S. backed dictatorships so that they can oppress populations which then revolt, necessitating yet more military intervention and various refugee crises or civil wars which will cost you even more money and probably create terrorists to boot.  And it doesn’t matter which party gets elected because you’re just going to get sold the exact same policy with a different ideological rationale tailored just for you, Joe the Plumber.  It’s a revolving cast of excuses for the same goddamn policy decade after decade after decade while you fret about “the national debt” and whine about lazy losers while, hilariously, not recognizing that most people in your party are hearing “black people and mexicans” when they say “takers” and “welfare cheats.” But ok, they’re not racists, what the fuck ever.

Do you understand how this works?  A company that stands to profit from arms sales or manufacture lobbies the government or supports think tanks or academics which interpret foreign policy in a way that will be profitable for them. I should know, I was one of those academics.  You adopt the view that they want to hear because that’s where the chairs, fellowships, grants, and other forms of promotion or keys to the career doors are.

They’re basically lawyers for ideas.  Most of these shills are so desperate to keep a job or win tenure that they don’t even know they’re lying. They rationalize and convince themselves of this bullshit because they have crippling college debt to pay off and spent most of their productive years studying shit that has absolutely no practical value in the work world other than figuring out how to help corporations steal indigenous people’s land or deciding which genocidal right wing dictatorship to furnish with death squads.  Try putting that on a resume and see if you can get a job which will allow you to avoid defaulting on your student loans.

Those politicians get into office, those think tanks convince dumbasses like you of stupid shit, and they say “Hey, it’s in the U.S.’s interest to support the Mubarak dictatorship in Egypt against his own people cuz freedom and demokarcy and we gotta help the savages learn to wash under their armpits like us advanced, superior, ‘developed’ cleanly christian murican folks!  White man’s burden!  And what a burden it is to take all this tax payer money and get filthy rich while the tax payers who paid us the money chase their own tails blaming homeless people and single moms for their declining standard of living!  Murican freedum!”

Those politicians then take your precious, sacred tax dollars and they give it to Egypt on the condition that Egypt buys its weapons from the U.S., from the very same companies that lobbied for the fucking policy.  You give it to Egypt when it was under Mubarak – y’know, to keep murica safe – and Mubarak takes it and gives it back to the weapons manufacturers and other industries, because if he didn’t, he would have  been deposed in a military coup or toppled by a long over due popular revolt which finally happened during the Arab Spring anyway.

That’s why they want to interpret U.S. national interest in the way that they do, because they stand to make money from it, genius, not because it’s actually in the U.S.’s interest.  Did you think they were all sitting around in the Bechtel board room thinking “Gosh, guys, how do we spread democracy and keep America safe?  What can we do? Let’s pray to Jesus for guidance right here in the board room.”  Is that how you thought it worked?  No dumbass, they’re thinking “How do we grow profits for our investors since that’s our job?  Also, I want a bonus because I want to buy another summer home in Cannes where I can take the hard working flag waving jesus loving rubes’ tax dollars and use it to buy coke which I can snort off an expensive escort’s tits.”  That’s how it works.

And have you not figured out yet that the government doesn’t hamstring corporations because the corporations are the motherfucking government?  Did you not notice that it is literally the same people going through the revolving door between private industry and government?

So since everybody’s career depends on their money, from the politicians to the sweater-vested, lowly researchers whose job it is to figure shit like this out and tell their paymasters what they want to hear, to the media which is owned often by the same people – General Electric, a weapons manufacturer, also owned NBC, a television network, for a long ass time – how the fuck would you ever know if it was or wasn’t in our interest?

That’s not a rhetorical question.  Explain to me how you would know one way or the other?  Or do we think that whatever allows General Electric to make more money – your money – is automatically good for the country?  Is that what you think?

THAT’S where your fucking tax dollars go, right into Bechtel’s coffers, right up some unimaginative sociopath’s nose who thinks he deserves it because he’s a “maker” not a “taker.”  It isn’t buying government cheese for lazy losers who opportunists convinced you that you’re better than because you’re a hard workin, ford tough, personal responsible true american who doesn’t want no handouts.  There is no redistribution of wealth from the top down. It’s a redistribution of wealth from the bottom up, you idiot.  Can you not read a fucking graph?

American men between 1968 and 2009 have seen a 28% decrease in income, even while corporate profit is through the roof and productivity is in the stratosphere because of light year leaps in technological advancement over the last 20 years.

You can’t possibly be this fucking stupid.  You have what, 400 people who own as much wealth as the bottom 50% of the population?  The top 20% owning something like more than 80% of the wealth?  With much of that wealth having accumulated since the inception of the Reagan casino economy?  And you still want to go on and on about small government, free trade, and “fiscal responsibility” when you have 6% of the world’s population footing the bill for a military that amounts to half the world’s military spending?  You must be fucking brain dead.

Reagan, your free trade right wing bad ass rootin tootin cowboy american capitalist anticommunist John Wayne super hero Hollywood movie president and low tax crusader raised taxes 7 out of the 8 years he was in office, he raised payroll taxes on working people while cutting taxes on the wealthiest segment of society, the job creators who create jobs for the Chinese, all while deregulating wall street and fielding an administration which drafted nafta so that the power of the mystical market god could make us all rich.  Clinton’s administration passed nafta and continued on with the policy of deregulating wall street, even while wages stagnated and consumer debt grew.  In fact, it’s been the same “free trade” bullshit since Reagan, through democrats and republicans alike, and all it has gotten you is a wealth distribution that now resembles what you find in the 3rd world, like we’re fucking Uganda, Guatemala, or Mozambique, and you’re sitting here talking about the national debt?

You would have been better off buying every welfare loafer in the ghetto a lifetime supply of Colt 45, plasma TVs and all the hookers they could handle for a lifetime, genius, because IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A MILLION TIMES CHEAPER, YOU FUCKING SIMPLETON.

Consumer spending makes up 2/3rds of economic growth in any quarter,  so take a look at the growth of private debt since the 1980s. Wages stagnated while cost of necessities like housing, education, and healthcare outpaced inflation. So people borrowed, not because they are lazy losers, but because they had to.  Hey how do people spend money if all their income is going to service debt?  And this in a country in which 41 million households now pay more than 30% of their income for housing?  How the fuck does anybody buy shit so that there is aggregate demand so that you can have a job, genius?

You know what? I’m done.  It’s like I’m trying to explain calculus to a penguin.  I quit.  Fuck you.

… And the thing is.  I could have just kept going and going and going.  I was just getting started.  Reading this rant over, I’ve concluded that we’re in Hell.

§ One Response to satisfying, off the cuff, mostly unedited, caffeine-fueled rant

  • Bachelorocles says:

    Best rant I’ve read i a long time.

    Love your shit, man. I especially enjoy your insight that feminism is much like a religion. I’ve notice for a while now that “sexist” and “misogynist” is essentially saying “sinner!!” — thou hast dared blaspheme the holy, sacred female.

    At any rate, keep up the good work!!


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